亲爱的朋友们:

大家好,我在新加坡。

有些人可能已经知道这个信息了,有些人可能在想,到底是什么呢。我想,也是时候把这件事情告诉大家了。

2014年9月11日,我被诊断患有疑似血癌住院,住在病房里的,我是最年轻的一位。

(整个住院的经历可以说算是我人生中从起到落最大的一摔,我想我会整理出来另外一整篇文章来记录这个住院的经历的。)

血癌的确诊当然要等骨髓穿刺的结果,不过血液科的医生告诉我,从显微镜下观测的结果当然是百分之九十以上的准确度了,有大量不成熟的白细胞在血液当中。

2014年9月12日,我把消息告诉了父母,以及学校(当然理所应当的休学了)。然后,当天做了骨髓穿刺。

之后就确诊了Acute Leukemia,准确的说是AML with Muturation (M2)。其实AML是可以治疗的,M3型的痊愈率甚至高达90%……我要是得一个M3该多好啊。

好吧,之前有在微博上Po化疗最后一天加油的照片,鼓励自己要加油啦,我以为我的微博都没有人看的,可能大部分人都是从这里才知道我生病了吧,不过生得什么病,到底为什么得病都不知道吧。

第一,我生的病叫Acute Myeloid Leukemia,是白血病的一种,也叫血癌,一般国内是分为恶性肿瘤,也就是癌症,不过并不是绝症,只不过治好以后有一定几率会复发,根治只有通过骨髓移植,死亡的风险也就是在化疗的时候和骨髓移植的时候。

第二,为什么得病。关于癌症的成因,目前科学界还没有一个确定的定论。但是主流研究已经表明,环境,化学药品,辐射,抽烟,以及睡眠(根据最近的研究主要是与身体内的一种叫做褪黑素的东西有关),以及遗传基因和病毒入侵这些因素等都会导致癌症的发生率增加。单单白血病的来说,化学上的接触,特别是装修材料里的苯,甲醛,汽油里的苯,都是照成白血病的重要因素,有很大部分白血病的患者的住宅都在近期进行过装修;遗传因素当然也有,也包括病毒,抽烟对白血病没有任何影响,不过会显著增加患肺癌的几率;辐射的话,之前在广岛的调查有证实白血病患者的增加。

不过,关于患病的原因,当然是多种因素共同作用的结果。在日本,癌症被定义为【生活习惯病】,就是说这个病的发生,其实是和自己的各种生活习惯是有关系的。我们对于周围的环境能够做的改变不多,但是能够改变自己的生活习惯,养成一个良好的生活习惯可以有效的减少自己生这种病的概率。有些时候,感觉很遥远的事情,没想到就发生在自己身上了。

回想一下自己的生活习惯,最不乖的地方就是熬夜。我从小就是个夜猫子,更是喜欢上了一个喜欢夜猫子的行当,IT行业。

另一方面,虽然自己是一个比较随意的人,但是偏偏有完美主义的倾向,对于自己认定要做好的事情,就一定要追求极致。所以给自己的精神压力相当的大。

等到病好了以后,要过上新生活,至少绝对不妥协的事情就是熬夜了。然后就是要把更多的时间放在自己喜欢且随意的事情上面,多多出去旅行,摄影。继续弹自己的钢琴。然后少🐴一些代🐴。

好了,我给大家的不是什么好消息,但是也绝对不是什么坏消息,毕竟六个月之后,我又能像大家一样正常的生活了。

而且,很多时候都是塞翁失马,焉知非福。从改变我的生活习惯上来说,反倒是一个好消息。

而且,也给大家敲了一个警钟,身体的事情,不是你以为是什么样就是什么样的。像我,如果不是我去复查了一下,现在也许还在上课呢。于是我活蹦乱跳的进了医院,听到一个震惊的消息。所以如果你觉得身体已经是亚健康了,就要好好的去爱惜。

我现在身体状况好的时候,有坚持记每天的日记,希望以后能够分享给大家。

等我的好消息~~

爱你们的,东闻

P.S.我有收到好几封邮件,谢谢你们了,不过刚好运气不好的遇上一种叫Allopurinol的药物过敏,所以状态不太佳,在此先谢过,以后回复。

P.P.S请大家一定爱惜自己的身体。顺便,有空可以冥想一下,我周围的人大多都不信宗教,所以也推荐大家可以看看佛法什么的,对维持自己的心理和生理平衡很有帮助的。


PART I: EXPERIENCE

My life in Harbin Institute of Technology started on the September of 2010.

I chose to study Electric Engineering when I entered university. But as time goes by, I find that what I am more interested in is actually Computer Science.

The first semester of University does include a lot of study on math. I knew little about what Computer Science actually is at that time. At the end of the semester, I got the 1st place in my major and ranked 4th in my department (school) which has more than 200 students.

In 2011, the second semester of my freshman year, I took the course C programming language given by our university’s CS department. It was the first time that I knew anything about Computer Science. I spent much more time than other students on learning C programming Language and got 95/100 in the final.

This is the beginning of the story between Computer Science and me. I still thought Computer Science and Electric Engineering is about the same thing at that time.

In 2012, my sophomore year, I learned assembly language through MCS-51, and implemented a dialing function using MT8880 chip on it. In the second semester of my sophomore, I learned java by myself. When I grew into junior year, I completed an android app that can display a map on my mobile phone.

The more I learned about Electric Engineering and Computer Science, the more difference I found between them. I started to think about changing my major, but unfortunately we are not allowed to switch on subject as we grew into sophomores. However, I can still choose on how to spend my time. Much time are spent on learning computer science, while I still maintained my major’s rank between 20% ~ 30% .

Between Feb. 2013 ~ June. 2013, the second semester of my junior year. I got a chance to National Chiao Tung University in Taiwan as an exchange student in its department of computer science.

This was one of the precious times during my university life, as I could learn as a normal CS student for their courses without worrying about my own major’s grade. What’s better, NCTU is one of the best universities in Taiwan, and especially famous for its Electronics and Computer Science.

The course image processing in NCTU that I took is one worth mention, which is known for its hard projects. Four projects in one semester in total accounts for 80% of the final score, while the exam only makes up 20% of it. One of the most difficult projects is embedding data into a picture reversibly using difference expansion, about half of students withdrew this course because it is too hard to complete.

Indeed, algorithm in this project is not very complicated, but mistakes are easily made because of many boundary classification it involves. There was even an error related to boundary delimitation in one of the reference essay. I spent two weeks writing and testing the program. When the program finally worked successfully, I was as happy as winning a great award. I got to know with many concepts of image processing after the course.

I also taught myself Python that semester. And I undertook a project on automatic word filling in the summer holiday after the semester. I also learned Ruby on Rails systematically that holiday. After that, I have been building and maintaining a website with rails till now.

All in all, I learned much computer knowledge apart from courses of my original major. I learned Data structure, Formal language and Automata on the theoretical facet. On the other hand, I learned a lot of programming language, and learned how to use Linux system as well as Web developing. I created my own blog and I am maintaining a website.


PART II: Research Interest

What makes me the person I am? It is these experiences. This is the story between me and Computer Science.

“Computer scientist” and “hacker” now have special meaning for me. Different from other scientists, computer scientists are creators or crafters in some way. Their researches are generated from real world problems rather than bunches of obscure theories.

Diversity of the Computer Science and the culture inside of it are two features which attract me most.

Computer influences nearly all the modern sciences. In the domain of mathematics, the famous four-color theorem is proved on the basis of computer’s powerful computing ability. As for the field of linguistics, the introducing of computer made it possible for language analysis from statistical angle by counting the frequency of every single word. In the industrial world, computer increases the automation level of assembly lines which contributes greatly to productivity.

Real world problems are always complicated. Regarding computer science as a multi-layered building, we have mathematicians live in the bottom of the building. They are dedicated to all sorts of mathematical theories, who do really important works, and without them the building will be unable to build. In the middle part of the building live the “classical scientists” who study traditional problems such as algorithms, Turing machine and so on. As for others, they live on the very top of the building, they do really interesting coding, build bridges between computers and people, analyze data generated by Internet, realize AI which we have dreamed for such long time and hope to change our life eventually.

I once saw a sentence on the school’s website, ‘No other subject will open as many doors in the 21st Century, regardless of a student’s ultimate field of study or occupation, as computer science.’

Specifically, my research interest is Human computer interface. The important thing here is Human. I have mentioned in the beginning that most software is intended for human audience. It is very important for the machine and humans to have the ‘communication’. Human computer interface gives us a systematical way to study this - how to make the communication more efficiently and how to make it more natural for a better user experience.

On the one hand, I have passion for computer science, I am fancied by the great possibility of the renewing of technology which always brings us surprise. Hundred of years ago, it is beyond human’s imagination that information can be transmitted between Asia and America, but look at what we have achieved now, it can be easily done within a few millisecond. On the other hand, I value those warm human touches in this world, human help and pass encouragements to each other, these things are encouraging and makes you feel hopeful.

Human computer interface gives us the way to bring two opposite sides together. As for “computer” in “Human computer interface”, many subjects are involved, such as computer graphics, operation systems, programming languages, etc. While for its “human” side, industrial design, cognitive psychology and social science are involved. Due to it’s interdisciplinary feature, people of various backgrounds are together contributing to its development.

Further more, human computer interface has another feature: being cool. Traditional studies such as operating system, database, programming language, and pattern recognition are full of monotonous and tedious issues, while human computer interface has more visual stuffs. It also has cool branches like virtual reality and visual enhancement. Of course, it is based on those fundamental researches of other subjects. I guess these are reasons why I would like to spend 5 years and more to dive into this area.


PART III: Why I choose SUTD?

There is a “design” in SUTD from which shows it’s unique position.

There are many schools having a “technology” in their names, these schools may have outstanding research works, such as CIT, MIT etc. However, few engineering colleges have “design” in their names. SUTD is thus different from many universities. And this unique feature attracts me.

Design and Research are different. Design doesn’t have to be new, but it has to be good. Research doesn’t have to be good, but it has to be new. However, their ultimate goal seems to be the same: the best design uses new as well as good ideas, and the best research solves problems that are not only new, but worth solving. So ultimately design and research are aiming for the same destination, just approaching it from different directions.

Therefore, SUTD’s focus on both the creativeness and practicability attracts so many scholars and students.


PART IV: My Enthusiasm

In the culture of computer science, hackers are enthusiastic about new things. They work as intensely as play and they play as intensely as work. It is the same for me sometimes, the boundaries between “play”, “work”, “science” and “art” all tend to disappear, or to merge into a high-level creative playfulness.

This hacker culture is the second reason why computer science attracts me. This culture was born from a group of computer scientists. It’s history can be traced back to the first time-sharing computer tens of years ago. At that time, ARPAnet, the prototype of internet has just started. These experts who love to share formed the culture and it then get prospered along with the development of Internet.

There are several great features of hacker culture, that hackers considering work as play is one important feature of it. Besides, freedom and sharing were right inside of hacker culture when it was born, which attract me mostly.

Actually, this culture not only exist in the area of computer science. Its influence has been everywhere, say electronics and music. Actually, people who has achieved the highest levels of any subjects, has the similar spirits shared by this culture. The willingness to share, the enthusiasm in working and so on are all in this kind of spirits.

Though most hackers self-describe as programmers, they are very likely to be more than competent in several related skills. A hacker who’s a system administrator, on the other hand, is likely to be quite skilled at music or painting.

It is somehow weird to compare hackers to painters, many think there is no relevance between these two people. However, they do share many same features.

Painters(or any other artists) create works for people (no matter others or themselves) to appreciate. At this point, hackers do exactly the same thing, for all the software are made for people. Inspirations and enthusiasm are needed for both painters and hackers to create great works. If some one desire to program very well, he or she is required to undergo generous, painstaking, and repeated practice. This is similar for painters if they hope to command brilliant painting skills. Moreover, both painters and hacker are not afraid of failures for they deeply know that failure is where success comes.

The founder of Y-combinator(silicon valley’s biggest incubator) Paul Graham learned painting in Rhodes College of Art after he got his PhD in Havard. According to him, painters and hackers share the most similarities.

Same for me, I won’t be content with a narrow range of skills. I’m not a good painter, but I’m good at playing musical instrument. I know how to play Clarinet and I could play it well. I’m a piano player as well and I love the pieces by Joe Hisaishi.

I do this because I love it from inside my heart, and when I love it from heart I would not feel tired or hard, instead I am enjoying the best of my life.